Today Mr. Foxypants told me his theory on how people organize their homes. He believes that there are two types of people: those who live in doctor's offices and those who live on pirate ships.
I would think this idea hilarious, save for the fact that he then made it clear that my office is so messy, that the corsairs wouldn't have me.
Really, it's not that messy. It's like 40% Anne Bonny to 60% Doogie Howser.
I'm going to ask Sandy the Captain for her professional opinion on this matter because I think this comparison is unfair to pirates everywhere. I'm sure Calico Jack's ship wasn't filled with frog figurines and a huge collection of plush Garfield the Cat dolls like the office of my gynecologist.
And what's so great about living in a doctor's office anyway, even if it's just a stupid metaphor? My father, a doctor, somehow seems to think Skeet Shooters Monthly and Hi-lights for children is what all his patients want to read, especially when he's running 45 minutes late on his appointments and they're trapped in his waiting room. I would bet a piece of eight that pirates subscribe to better magazines.
And to that end, today I dropped off a huge stack of Elle Decor and Vanity Fair Magazines at the local emergency room.