Happy Holidays! You're Fired.

My friend Elle called this morning to ask me for help on getting fired.

No. Not on tips on how to get fired, but for advice on how to deal with the production company you've given five years of your life to when they decide, two weeks before the holidays, to downsize your entire department.

They are offering her $25,000 in severance, which sounds like a lot of money, until you take into account the fact that they are trying to give her this in lieu of paying her a producing fee on a 100 million dollar feature film she set up.

Hollywood, the happiest place on earth.

I hooked her up with my lawyer, who's commonly referred to as "that terrorist," to work things out for her.

Apparently, things are already looking up for her. She just called to compliment my taste in lawyers. "Wow! He is so scary!"

It's good to be nice to others, but having a mean-ass attorney assures that others will be nice back to you.